Monthly Archives: July 2015

Life

Life is not quiet.
Life is loud.
Let it be loud.
Let it burst and rumble,
ravage and smoke,
let it tremble and tumble,
let it shake, let it jangle.

Never try to quiet your life,
give it speakers,
give it amplification.

Stand steadfast, but be ready
to be moved,
be ready to run.
Be ready for the crash
of the ocean waves,
be ready for the chirping birds,
the sirens that make you stand still
and freeze,
wondering who they are for
and who they are taking away.
Be ready for the silence of the
friendly touch,
be ready for soft conversations
and comfort.
Be ready to be rattled.

You were born to live a messy,
troublesome, graceful, awakening life.
Let it be loud.

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How to Live Better

HOW TO LIVE BETTER.

Or rather 
what I should do to enjoy life more,
to be happier,
to become the better person that I want to be:

1. SLEEP MORE. (And enjoy it)

2. RUN AND BIKE MORE. (Feel alive. Be healthy. Drink more water.)

3. BE MORE INTENTIONAL. ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS. APPRECIATE EVERYTHING.

4. SMILE MORE. LAUGH MORE. BE ALIVE.

5. LEARN THINGS. GROW AS A PERSON. CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY. 

6. DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE: read books, write poetry, try new recipes, cook for friends, go on long walks, explore, be with friends, drink coffee, make new friends, be creative, plan adventures, listen to old music, keep your house clean. 

7. BE BRAVE.

8. APPRECIATE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. SHOW THEM AND TELL THEM SO. Be a good friend when they need you and when they don’t.

9. ADMIT YOU HAVE FLAWS, AND BE OKAY WITH THEM.

10. BE RESPONSIBLE. Learn from your choices. 

We’ll see how this checklist shakes out. When it comes down to it, I’ve been stuck in a weird restless wanting to do something big, wanting to become a much better person, bored with the day to day drag, needing mountains and nature and fresh air and crime free streets, needing to feel safe and free, and I’m sick of it all. I know I don’t actually need to go somewhere else to become better, to be happy, and I do so much love this city and my people here, and part of me wants to leave and part of me wants to stay forever. I know I just want to and need to work on me.

Bottom line: I need to always do what is most important RIGHT NOW. “Be here now.” Trust myself and enjoy my life.

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Silence in the city

Silent reflection
silent meditation
but there’s no silence in the city,
only breathing sounds of life
that splinter in the silent
breaking of the calm.
Power tools and power trips,
constructions,
distraction,
breaking the silence.
Sirens, horns
whooshing cars,
radio conversations
humming rumbling monsters
drilling our minds,
disturb our silent
wishful awake dreams
in this unsettled
crackled
frightening place.
We must find peace within ourselves –
WE MUST –
or we’ll rot and decay our dreams
grow wasted and weary
and forgotten – 
don’t become the forgotten silence.

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Awakening in my beginning –

Not enough breaths to tell the world how I feel,
not enough moments before the sun sets
and seeps down into the wrinkles of the bed
of the horizon sky
to go to sleep.
Not nearly enough pieces of paper
to write this letter
that needs to be written,
not nearly enough soft blades of grass
to comfort my fall.
When you speak,
I listen,
when you cry,
I cry out too.
Bring the curtain down over my eyes,
pack my memories in the trunk
at the foot of my bed,
put me to sleep. Tomorrow
is a new awakening.
I still haven’t met my beginning:
my beginning is now.

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Americana Roar

We two-stepped in
the dawn of America,
across dusty dance floors
to the shrill of Patsy Cline,
we grape-vined in our broken bones
and our black and blue hearts,
casting wanting glances
across the sweaty sticky bar room floor,
we cheered for Johnny Cash,
the dream of white washed America he held,
and we hollered for all those
early nineties trashy honky tonk
country songs that brought back
memories of car trips with windows down
and fast tobacco fields flying by.
We picked cotton in our dreams,
or the dreams of our ancestors,
we apologized for what we’ve done wrong,
we held dirty hands
we nursed dirty hearts,
we wrapped our regrets to rest
in retired American flags.
Freedom is messy, let the fireworks roar.

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