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This distant memory replays in my mind
of cliff jumping into a golden blue cold lake
on a sweaty hot sunshine day.
The air glitters.
My fellow cliff jumping compatriots are laughing.
Happy noises
and splashing noises from bodies tumbling falling gracefully
into the water echoes back from the cliffs.
A lush green and abundant forest adorns the viewpoint.
There’s so much beauty, everywhere

You’d stand back from the edge – almost naked in your bathing suit –
run across the rock in bare innocent feet
let out a scream of joyexcitementfearforgiveness
and plunge your body out from the rock
fall fast long and down into the water

We jumped for hours. Never got tired of that thrill that splash
that cool refreshing wetness.

This memory makes me smile and breaks my heart. I can’t
remember if it was real. Or it it’s just some dreamful resemblance
of an experience of my lustful youth that I’m holding onto
created in a dreamy afternoon of boredom or sleep.
I want it to be real so bad.

I want my life to feel like that jump. Every day: joyexcitementfearforgiveness.
Over and over again
in the late afternoon perfection
heavenly neverstop glow of the end of an innocent summer.

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